Pursuing happiness?? Don't.

Feb21

I like to code but the thing is I haven’t really coded much from scratch. I always look at some random guy telling what to do and I’d understand and write my own version of it. It’s good actually, that’s how slowly you can learn to code but the problem is I’ve never got much happiness doing this. But a few days ago for the first time, I’ve opened the editor and started writing node web app from scratch without any external help or whatsoever. I wrote the entire thing and ran, and it worked flawlessly the first time itself like there aren't any errors, none. But to my surprise, I’ve felt just the same as every time, not much satisfaction as I hoped. I couldn’t figure out what went wrong, I mean this is what I wanted all along and it was working fine too but damn I didn’t get the feeling I wanted or expected. I called my brother and told him what happened and he told me that this is what he always told like whenever I say to him that I need to code this and that and then I’ll be happy but he used to say that no it won’t make you much happy as I think it does. I mean I was disappointed but slowly I started thinking that what if everything I thought that could make me happy ends up in the middle ground like this one? and this thought scared the shit out of me but that’s when I realized some things over a long hot shower…

You’re already happy

Yes, that’s the main thing everyone has to realize and accept. I mean I’m not sad and I believe no one is, it’s just they think they’re sad like I do. Like I always look like a depressed shit who stays at rock bottom but I don’t feel like that whenever I’m talking to my brothers, friends. I don’t feel unhappy while I’m watching something or just doing something but I feel sad or depressed the moment I start thinking that I’m sad or depressed. I know it sounds asinine but that’s the thing. I’m sad because I think I am sad and there’s no other reason. I believe this is the most in everyone’s scenario. The moment you stop thinking this shit and just realize what you have is when you can start being happy. I mean when we keep fixated on things that we don’t have and be sad over them then no matter how much we can have it doesn't matter. Just realize you’ve something and if you want something, instead of crying for that start working your ass for acquiring them.

Attaching happiness to anything is useless AF

This is the most vital thing I’ve understood. Attaching happiness on anything is extremely overrated as the moment the intrinsic body shits the bed, everything is fucked. This is one of the reasons why people won’t be satisfied much and in fact why I haven’t felt much happiness that day. Let’s just say you’re in the pursuit of a girl you like and you’ve attached your entire happiness on this girl like if you have her then you’ll be the happiest person or it’ll be enough. But what if you got the girl and she isn’t as cool as you thought or what if having that girl isn’t as enough as you thought (trust me when you find the perfect woman it’s never enough with them)? then you’ll be sadder than before as now you know that you’re entire framework has shattered. This is why don’t base your entire happiness on something it could be a person or a thing or a task because when the things go south you’ll be nothing more than a sad fuck. This is because it’s not just that things didn’t go your way, it’s because you’ve believed something and that’s fucked, you’re belief system has fatigued. So instead of doing this first as written above accept that you're already happy and doing something or pursuing something will make you a little bit happier and if they don’t go as you planned then you can be like “it’s ok, shit happens I’m happy anyway, where’s the beer…’’. There’s an excellent story about this, which gives you a better perspective on this scenario.

So the conclusion is don’t expect extreme happiness as it’s not a thing and asking yourself every day whether you’re happy or not will make more miserable.

Later.