Control is an Illusion
Jun 04 originally published on Medium
We’re living in a better period than no one ever did. People like Steven Pinker and Hans Rosling wrote huge books explaining why everything is perfect. Like we’ve got more rights than ever, violence hit an all-time low, racism, sexism and mostly all “isms” against women has been decreased and our literacy has peaked too.
So, everything seems to be perfectly fine and improved even. Now, this improvement should’ve made people live better lives than they ever did.. nope that’s where we’re wrong. After everything we’ve accomplished the lives of people has become a clusterfuck and we’ve failed to achieve the mental balance.
A decade before all we wanted was a phone with a big screen and internet on it, now we got a phone that can do all kinds of shit and what are we doing? searching online on how to restrict our self from using it too much. Where did we go wrong?
Internet was supposed to free us but all it did (for the most part) was giving access to 24-hour shit. Despite the fact that we have AI that can make our baby sleep, groceries are being delivered to our doorstep and we’ve phones that pay our bills, we’re having stress-related issues, anxiety problems, we go to therapies, etc. Why? The problem is we think we’re in control and guess what… we’re not. Yes, here’s a little concept for you(don’t pull out hair).
Emotions are one heck of a thing actually. Emotions make us do all kinds of shit that we generally regret afterward, like lashing out in anger, making screwed up decisions in anxiety and a bunch of other stuff.
But, the problem is we can’t just kick out emotion. Yes, it’s not possible and if it did also it’s gonna create a whole lot of unimaginable problems. So, back to the main point that we can’t kick out our emotions, uh-huh why is that? well, because it’s what drives us to put it perfectly, controls us.
Yes, we’re controlled by our emotions, which is a major issue as they are responsible for every shit that’s wrong with us. But emotions are perfect if we can control them, like using anger to get motivation and they can guide us where to go but the thing is this control is an illusion.
Here as I say illusion it’s not some Nolan’s prestige movie stuff, illusion in the sense that we can’t really control anything we think we can but can’t really. So, what’s the point anyway then? It all links to one simple problem and if we can solve it then we can handle the car even though the emotion is driving.
Be in the 10% and rest you can solve
Hmm, the title won’t make sense so let’s get to the point. Though we’ve achieved everything, we’ve failed to achieve a simple thing i.e, sticking to something that we’ve decided to do.
Trust me it’s the hardest thing to do than solving a giant calculus problem. We can’t like 99% stick to something that we’ve decided to do, as this is where the self-control shit’s the bed. We even know that we have to do but again we postpone it or worse say ourselves a stupid reason on not to do. But, again why we say ourselves a reason?
Because we feel bad every time that we’re not sticking to something and hence we care. Yes, we care and here’s another concept. We also have another brain called the thinking brain. It knows that we’re just a bunch of shitbags driven by the emotional one, hence every time we skip something we try to say a reason to the thinking one to make ourselves feel ok.
But, the problem with not sticking is that after some time the thinking brain starts to collaborate with the emotional one and whenever we try to skip something that we’ve decided to do, instead of feeling bad we think it’s ok as the thinking brain starts adopting the ways of the emotional one.
This is a serious problem actually. By doing what we’ve decided to do, we’ll stick to something and this creates self-respect which is vital for tackling all the mental issues.
Listen to this carefully, the only way to achieve self-respect is by doing things that we’ve decided to do at the exact time. This needs a lot of self-control actually which is to tough to achieve and this is what called “maintenance”. Hence, whenever you feel like skipping something try to wait and think for a minute, let the thinking one talk to the emotional one and say “Yo dipshit, slow down the car and let me point where to go”.
See, there may be 10% in the world that can stick to something that they’ve decided to do. So first, try being in that 10%, then think of achieving something. Because if we are constantly giving up on something that we wanted in the first place then there’s no point in trying out more. It all relates to everything basically, like confidence, strength, etc these all come if you love yourself first i.e when you have self-respect and the only way to do that is to stick to the commitments you’ve made to yourself.
This self-respect generates hope which is vital in achieving something and most importantly to live. If there’s no hope then there’s no meaning to life and if there’s no meaning it’s useless.
I have more thoughts on this and will start writing more whenever I decide to work on this.BLOG